On August 1, 1998,
I Entered in at "The Straight Gate" of The Canadian Wilderness!
Matthew 7 : 13 Enter ye in at the straight gate:
for wide is the gate, and broad is the way
that leadeth unto destruction,
and many there be which go in thereat.
14: Because straight is the gate and narrow is the way,
which leadeth unto life; and few there be that find it.
Dearest Friends of Mine
There remains one thing I have not told you about it was too painful for me to face, and I always believed I could turn the situation around and spare you the gory details until I had the happy ending. I write to you today to confess and to ask for your forgiveness. I have truly been doing the best I could for these 13 years with GetWellHStayWell, America! And now, with months of confession and repentance and forgiveness under my belt, God has reached out and granted me a resurrection to a renew life.
It is no secret to you that I have had a "weight problem" all my life. When my Mother Marie died on December 16, 1962, for example, I weight 165. By New Year's Eve, I weighed 195. And it is with the most humble of hearts that I now tell you that when I wrote last year's News Bulletin in January, 1998, I weighed 270 pounds. I announced The Victory Wagon would go out in the summer of 1998. I surely thought in 6 months, I could turn the weight around and get presentable. Then, from January to April, I prepared the other items and sent out The Big Mailing. I was still fat. For 3 months, I filled your 400 orders. I was still fat. So, unable to do The Wagon and feeling worse every day, I left for a one-month Exercise Vacation to The Wilderness of British Columbia to get turned around. The rest of this letter and the Scripture on designer paper and other items in this package take you on that 9-month journey.
Something else I had never told you about and was planning to do so with happy pictures but just never did because I had given into depression from August of 1995 to August of 1998 was this: In November of 1996, shortly after T.C.'s death, I realized my own mortality. And at a time when I was already miserable. I realized that The Wagon would never go out the driveway if I continued in the direction I was presently heading. So, I did the one thing I probably should have done long ago, short of surrendering again to The Lord and begging for his Help! I got the one thing that had been the first love of my life and my first passion as a child that made all the fighting and hatred and jealousy and misery of being in The Bidwell Family bearable... I got a horse. A horse that would help me hang on. And not just any horse. After 20 years without a horse, I found... "the horse of my dreams, the horse I would want if I were exceedingly well with a healthy weight and a fit body, the most exciting and most intelligent horse I had ever know!" I found a 3 year old, dapple grey, pure blood, Arab stud. And I found a cheap 64 Chev-Chinook R.V. and an old horse trailer. From November of 1996 to August of 1998, I asked my mechanics to fix up "Old Blue." (It was painted baby blue.) And I spent time ground training "Captain HighJoy America!" (I was too fat and ill-fit to ride.) HighJoy became murderous with the stallion molecules in his system, and I had to have him gelded. I do believe I would not have had the inspiration to keep going finances and Nerve Energy supplies were so low had I not brought HighJoy to The Barn.
I had an Exercise Vacation planned for shortly after November of 1996. It took close to 2 years before I could leave. On August 1, 1998, I drove "Old Blue" 50 miles per hour for 700 miles and arrived at Alfred Joseph's J & N Trail Ride Ranch in the Kootenay Mountains of The Canadian Rockies. My "Turn Around Story" follows. In the beginning, I had 2 mottos: "This Is It! or I'm going to die trying!" and "Keep Moving!" I have rescheduled Common Health Sense for the fall. Please, I ask you to bear with me and to continue supporting my efforts. We are closer than we have ever been. You'll hear from me in August to know exactly when. I took no pictures of me at 270 pounds it was too demoralizing, I just couldn't do it.
¶Natural Hygiene for The Children of God, Page 12 & Wilderness Story
